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My Corridor

A Poem by Quinn Collins

Room 12:                          Room 13:                    Room 14:                    Room 15:

Mum & Dad                     Friends                      Ex-VIPs                      Her, lost

 

In Room 12                 The next room,           In 14 there is                 Lastly, Room 15,

they sit and hope       and their eyes are      anyone I’ve                   she is staring

for me, for my            pitying, cheering       ever loved and              out the window.

fragile ill health.        me on at the same      lost. Most of them        She does not

They will me better   time. The pedestal     shrug, don’t even         notice when I

but don’t look up      makes me wonder     know why they’re        come in or when

from their papers,     if they do love me,     in here, in now.             I apologise to her.

even when I bleed    or if I will hear            After all this time,        There’s a spectre

out on the floor         them calling me          really? They long         of her already in this

right there, then.       brave, again.               for the walls of 13.        beating chamber.

 

If I were to enter,      If I were to enter,        If I were to enter,          If I were to enter,

the noise would        I’d thank them            I would get on my        15 would not choose

go on and on and     if they stopped            hands and knees,          me back and I’d stare

on forever and          cheering, and for        beg just one of               at the back of her

ever, unending         a second, let me          them to care, to              head, hope to see her

Scream                       Speak                           Stay                                 Turn

 

I keep walking past it all to the big red door at the end of the hall.

When I enter, I’m gone and all is forgotten.

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A Statement by Quinn Collins on their process

Nobody wants to know exactly what other people think of them. This is, at its core, what ‘My corridor’ is about – it’s my guess at what would happen if I ever had to find out.


I have long avoided shape poetry, but the subject of ‘My Corridor’ didn’t make sense to me in any other form. It’s a letter to everybody I have ever loved – and if I wrote one of those without some kind of constraints, it would make for very messy, convoluted prose. The tightness of the poem as it relates to doors keeps me succinct and powerful in my words. It also helps, I hope, to convey how I imagine the briefness of the visit of each room: nobody wants to know exactly what other people think of them.

 

It'd be remiss of me not to talk about the tone shift of the final door in this poem. I’ve only been in love once – truly, anyway – and I don’t write about her often in poems because I have peace of mind from the way it ended. However, in this poem, this is the natural conclusion: my heart is made up of these four ‘beating chamber’s and having her on the page completes it entirely, even if she is in ghost form.

The final line imagines that I am free of worrying about what these people think of me – in the only way I could imagine at the time of writing.

Back to BoundBy: Summer '24 (Edition #09)

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